My Imposter Syndrome Journey: Four Practices to Conquer Doubt

Dear reader,

In the preceding article, I shared my journey into becoming a software engineer and the persistent imposter syndrome that has accompanied every step of the way.

Now I’d like to present a simple three-step program that magically eradicates imposter syndrome, just like I supposedly did.… But unfortunately, I don’t have a program to overcome imposter syndrome, and I haven’t overcome it (sorry).

I still grapple with feelings of inadequacy and a sense of not belonging. And a lot of days, I still feel like sliding off of my ergonomic stool into a puddle of self-inflicted, insecure obscurity. I still endure, however. I still fight to take my thoughts captive and believe that I belong in the (Zoom) room.

While I can’t offer a miraculous three-step program, I can share four daily practices that help me combat imposter syndrome.

Take it day by day. Write down the mantras and truths that speak to your soul and read them everyday before work. At the end of each day, ask yourself: “What did I learn?” “What is one thing I accomplished?” Remember you aren’t alone. Sometimes it just helps to talk it out with someone. Email me if you need a someone. Take It Day by Day Have you ever stopped to think about how most of your fears and worries revolve around a future event that hasn’t even happened yet (and most likely won’t happen)?

I try to take inventory of my anxieties by writing them down. I list every thought contributing to my anxiety, from general worries to specific concerns like the fear of not succeeding in a presentation. Reading through each, I ask, “Is this true today?” Surprisingly, 99% of the time, the answer is “no.” The worry might feel real, but the reality is that it’s not true today.

Focus on the present — control what you can today. Life is unpredictable, and tomorrow is uncertain. Concentrate on the day ahead, and deal with tomorrow when it becomes today.

Speak Your Truths (to Yourself) Every morning before diving into work, I revisit a list of mantras, truths, and quotes on a sticky note labeled “Remember This…” on my computer. I meditate on the truths that I know will help me through the day and preparing my mind in this way is a crucial step.

So what are the words you need to hear to help you fight your imposter syndrome? Write them down. Read them daily. Speak them out loud! Do whatever you need to do to remind yourself of what is true. And in case you need some help getting started, here are a few sayings and truths to get you started:

Success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm. (Winston Churchill)

You are not at the center of the universe. Look to bless, know, build up, ask forgiveness from, and love.

The only person you should compare yourself to is yourself yesterday.

Good judges are good belief-updaters. If they make a bet and lose, they embrace the logic of a loss as they would the reinforcement of a win… that is called, in a word: learning. (David Epstein)

You are right where you’re supposed to be.

Take Note of Your Accomplishments Admittedly, recognizing my accomplishments isn’t my strong suit. It’s easy for me to acknowledge and dwell on failures. At day’s end, I’m at risk of fixating on what I did wrong or could have done better — a common human tendency.

Out of all of the practices, I’ve found taking note of my accomplishments to be the most impactful long-term solution. I absolutely have to force myself to recognize my accomplishments every single day, otherwise doubt would eat me alive.

Practically, I set a reminder in Slack to notify me every day at 3:30p: “Fight Imposter Syndrome! Write down one thing you learned today. Write down one thing you accomplished.”

So every work day I think about those two things and write them down. And listen — some days my biggest accomplishment is that I focused for 30 minutes straight or took a break without feeling guilty about it. But that is worth acknowledging and celebrating!

This one is hard work, but it’s worth it.

Talk to Others You aren’t alone, dear reader. Despite appearances, you may feel isolated among your peers and coworkers when it comes to feeling undeserving or inadequate. However, trust me — you are not alone.

I have a friend and mentor who I connect with on a bi-monthly basis, and the majority of our conversations center around our feelings of inadequacy that week. And you know what? I always feel so free and comforted after our conversations. There is something about the act of getting my self-deprecating thoughts outside of my head and speaking them out loud that takes away their power. There is something about my mentor saying, “me too” that makes me feel not so crazy. We need each other to persevere and uphold the reality that we are where we need to be, and we can do this thing called life.

If you lack a trusted confidant, reach out. Email me — I’d love to hear your story.

Sincerely, Another human who understands the struggle